In which we go to the Capitol

I woke up this morning anxiously aware that I had an interview for part-time job in less than a few hours. Not that I want a job, but times being how they are… it felt like it might be necessary.

Before we had fallen asleep, Honey Badger and I had discussed some of the merits and drawbacks of me working. The position is at a daycare, so Little Lion would be able to come with me (for a small fee, of course). But I wasn’t likely to actually work with him. I would be missing moments with him throughout the day. Time that I covet.

After our conversation, Honey Badger began to see that it would probably hurt us more than it would help us for me to start working too. I ended up canceling the interview, but instead of feeling relieved, I felt kind of sad. Or ashamed. Or disappointed. It’s funny, because I didn’t think I really wanted it. But maybe I just wanted…something.

Part of me really does want to work and bring in an income, but not enough to leave my son and daily schedule. If it was the right job, the thing that I have said I have wanted to do for so long, maybe I would press harder. Sacrifice hours with my precious boy. But this job wasn’t that.

I was left with an itchy, “I-want-to-go-somewhere” feeling. Little Lion wanted to go to the zoo, but it was getting late for that. As I often do, I opened my social media apps and check the Friends of Midwives page I’m part of. They have been working hard to get a legislative bill through the senate that would license midwives to attend homebirths in our state. At present, we are the only state in the US that still prohibits this by law.

The Nebraska Medical Association has fought this bill tooth and nail, even turning the CNMs against us. To counter, the CPMs just drafted a new amendment addressing all of the concerns the opposing parties have mentioned.

I fired off another email (my fourth??) to the senate and an additional one to the speaker of the floor to ask him to schedule this bill for debate. We have one week left before this session ends and our chance dissipates. But because it’s a priority bill for the backing senator, it should be debated and voted on.

While checking their page, I saw their “Midwives and M&Ms” post. They share it pretty frequently, typically making their visit to the capitol building on Thursdays. The thing is, the capitol is so far. An hour drive on a nice day. So I hadn’t gone, even though I wanted to. But today was the last day. And my heart burned in me. I had to go. I have done a lot, but I needed to go the next step and be there in person too.

I checked the time. 10 am. They were meeting at 1 pm. To get there on time, I’d probably need to leave at 11:30… right in the middle of Little Lion’s nap. Dejected, I texted Honey Badger to get his thoughts. He told me I had done enough, between my emails and videos, buying a shirt to support their costs, and everything else I’d been doing. But it doesn’t feel like enough.

Maybe I’ve been listening to too much Hamilton recently. But I really relate to Alexander Hamilton. It’s hard for me to bite my tongue and sit back, and this bill has awakened a lioness in me. Especially in the face of lobbies trying to block it for their own personal gain.

Accepting facts as they were, I got on with my morning. Wrestled Little Lion into bed for his nap. But he wouldn’t sleep. And I was not in the mood to fight. Instead, I dressed him up, grabbed the stroller, and we were off.

Man, it was a long drive. My car was shaking like crazy. Is that normal? It’s fine up to 60 MPH and even over 90 MPH (oops), but in between? The steering wheel vibrated so much. It was really exhausting. I don’t know how I used to drive cross-country by myself. Just an hour drive really wiped me out.

After some drama trying to find a parking spot, we finally arrived. Just 15 minutes late. We managed to catch a group as they were dispersing, and joined up with them, stopping at senator’s offices and handing their aides the latest informational sheet and some M&M stuffed cookies.

There was a little chaos with my over-tired toddler running down the halls towards the end, but he did really well. I was super impressed by this one family that had 7 or 9 kids (I didn’t count that well). Even the little ones were so calm and stayed close to their siblings. I wonder what that mom did to teach her kids to stay calm and close. Because I need Little Lion to learn that.

I even met the senator backing this bill, and he had positive things to say. Last week felt so hopeless, especially with the CNMs backing the amendment that removed CPMs. This week… I think there’s hope. I really do. There’s just one week left of nail-biting anticipation. Hopefully it goes in our favour. We need this bill to pass for all Nebraskan’s sakes.

Little Lion slept on the ride home, and I won’t lie, I felt like sleeping too. I was just exhausted. We passed a Twister Hunter van, and I geeked out a little (Midwesterner thing, iykyk). I’ve never seen them in person! Definitely took a sneaky photo to commemorate the moment. Thankfully, despite my extreme tiredness, we made it home safely. I put on Bob the Builder and tried to take a nap, but Little Lion kept climbing on me right as I was on the precipice of unconsciousness.

Eventually, I gave up and made dinner. It was actually well-received tonight, and wasn’t too much work even though I had to make two different versions of the meal. I have been slowly transitioning my diet to the AIP protocol to see if it helps with some of my thyroid and weight issues.

The tricky thing is making meals that everyone can eat that don’t require a ton of work or different ingredients. Pasta, surprisingly, has been coming in really handy. I have my own kind, and that’s about all I have to do different.

Little Lion started to get crazy because his nap was pretty short, and as we got him ready for bed, the tornado sirens went off. No wonder I saw a storm chaser today. There were storms on the forecast! I always get a little nervous with tornado sirens because we live in an apartment and the storm shelter is outside. That makes me uncomfortable for a multitude of reasons. So then it’s always a debate of what to do to keep my little one safe, especially when he’s about to be in bed sleeping.

I prayed for his safety and that he could sleep, and tried to move on (although I do have KETV 7 on as I write this!). Now I’m finishing up and I’ll go have some cereal because I haven’t figured out how out to stay full on this diet yet.

Stay well, and keep Nebraska in your prayers!

Sierra